8 Tips for Dating & Relating from Your Soul
By Laureli Shimayo
Whether you’re already in a relationship or taking steps to create one, interacting authentically from your soul will increase your experience of connection and joy. You may already know the phrase:
“Eyes are the window to the soul.”
Our eyes reveal our soul and life purpose – who we are and why we are here. They also reveal what we love, why we love it and how we can easily relate with others to maximize collaboration and fulfillment.
1. When you’re getting ready to connect with someone, whether it is a current partner or a potential new date, check to see if you are already connected with you! Take a few deep breaths, scan your body, and feel into your heart – what’s here? What do you notice about your body and how you are feeling? What do you really want and need? Own what’s so for you as consciously as you can (at least to yourself), so you’re less likely to have this subconsciously arise while you’re relating with another. Plus, if you want to share some of this awareness with them, you’ll be more ready.
2. Your eyes reveal so much of who you are and what you’re about, plus their eyes reveal a ton about them too! By knowing what’s true of you, what’s true of your soul, you can choose how to interact to increase your chances of getting what you really want. If you know a bit about their soul too, you can be even more effective. If you both want the same things in the same ways, it will likely be easy for both of you to do this together. If you have some differences (which is common), you’ll ideally already know or be learning skills for how to honor yourself and meet them where they are at the same time.
3. Many characteristics are revealed in people’s eyes, including their natural Talents. Which Talents are likely true of you? Which are likely true of the other person you are interacting with? If you (or they) naturally have a Talent, you (or they) will likely do and enjoy the behaviors described below, they will be easy, and you (or they) will likely feel energized and fulfilled while doing them.
· Inspiration/Motivation: encouraging others to grow to reach their potential
· Love/Connection: feeling deeply and honoring each person as they are
· Communication/Play: telling stories, having fun and laughing with others
· Creativity/Invention: suggesting new ideas and/or creating pleasurable experiences
· Efficiency/Action: taking productive steps, being in movement, multitasking
· Power/Orchestration: strategizing what needs to happen and delegating tasks
· Knowledge/Curiosity: learning rich and complex topics, answering questions
4. Most people naturally have 3 of these 7 Talents. Which are the easiest and most energizing for you? Which for them? Do you have one or more in common? If so, you’ll feel more connection and aliveness if you do these things when you’re together. For example:
· Inspiration/Motivation: share your passions and the impact you want to make
· Love/Connection: patiently listen to each other, express and witness feelings
· Communication/Play: dance, sing, talk and participate in fun activities
· Creativity/Invention: explore new and pleasurable places, food, ideas, etc.
· Efficiency/Action: do an athletic or physical activity, get tasks done
· Power/Orchestration: discuss big projects, people dynamics, advise each other
· Knowledge/Curiosity: learn together, find answers, teach each other and others
5. Notice where you and other people have differences. It can be okay for you (or for them) to do things for a short time that you or they are not naturally good at, however it will always take more energy and effort, so this is typically not sustainable situation. If you’re already in a relationship with someone who has differences, take steps to decrease your expectations that you both meet each other fully in all those differences or you risk building up disappointment and resentment. You might have waves of sadness and grief to feel about this before you’re ready for what’s next.
6. Find friends and colleagues who are similar to you in the ways that you’re different from this other person (who may be a current partner). Do the types of things with these new people which are described in Tip #4 based on what you have in common (particularly those that are different from the first other person in your life). This way you’ll hopefully feel met by someone (even if it is by other people) in each of your 3 Talents. You’ll likely feel ease, joy and fulfillment with the new people, plus you’ll have more energy and patience for connecting with those in your life (like that first other person) who are different than you.
7. If you are in business with this other person or there are business/logistical matters in a personal relationship that need to be addressed, difference are often great! The differences suggest how to split up work so that everyone does what they enjoy more and are likely better at, since you’re each likely better than each other at what you do naturally. Knowing Talents is helpful for strategizing whom to hire and also attracting the best new members to a team.
8. If you are looking for a new romantic relationship, aim to date people as similar to you as possible. Share aspects of you that are in alignment with your 3 Talents in your online dating profile and remove characteristics you’re realizing are not who you truly are. It might take some courage to be honest, and it is worth it, because also:
“Eyes are the window to your soulmates!”
So much more is revealed by your eyes in addition to your Talents – also your natural Pacing or rhythm, mode of Communication, Motivation, way of making Decisions, how you protect yourself or Defense, your definition of success or World View and your Growth Lessons. All of this can be discerned in you and in others via eyes – in person, by video and even in photos.
These traits are called one’s ThriveTypes, and knowing them is useful for living your soul or life purpose, predicting (and strategizing how to create) compatibility in love and business, and problem-solving relationship challenges when they occur. This approach is especially effective for doing online dating or business networking where people share their photos, allowing us to look deeply into their eyes and discover if they are likely to be a great soul match before we even connect…
Connect with Laureli to get her Conscious Online Dating Guide, learn more about ThriveTypes & Intuitive Eye Readings, schedule a Complimentary Mini Session, etc.